Review: Never Eat Alone

I don't know If I'd actually spoil anything but I don't want to worry about it so:

SPOILER ALERT

Ok. You've been warned.

I often use my blog(s) as motivators to get me to do stuff. So. In order to get myself to constantly read, I figured I'd post about books I read. This should be good for my speed-reading and my general knowledge.

I might play a little bit of catch-up soonish as I've read a lot recently.

Today, I'll talk about Keith Ferrazzi's book "Never Eat Alone."

To sum it all up in one phrase: " Ask. You can't lose anything when you don't have anything."

Keith is big on a fairly direct approach. If you want to get to know someone, learn as much as you can about them. Then talk to them. Listen. Care.

I kinda like Keith. He's not a smarmy guy who's trying to get on people's good sides in order to get above other people. He's really into positive feedback. He offers help. This ends up creating a good rapport and goodwill. When he needs help he asks for it. The kicker: he doesn't keep count.

Keith also does things like recognizing the importance of talking to "gatekeepers." These are the people that get you on people's calendars. He talks to them, not through them and they are included in his little thank-yous he sends.

His general modus operandi is carry out all of the steps that normal people do when they become friends really fast. He learns about them. He talks about the intersection of their interests (he's studied up on this obviously). He finds their needs and fills them; he becomes needed. He pings people all the time (in taxis etc.). He follows up on everything, he hosts dinners, he finds mentors, he finds mentees. He gets close to the people who will get him closer to what he wants. This man is a machine.

I am not him. I cannot do life like him. That being said, we have very different priorities. I am very self-validated. Keith gains meaning from others, from interactions. I enjoy these interactions and will try to do more with them, but they will never be life-defining to me. I still plan on having few friends who are big enough in my life to be called life-defining. Keith is fine with celebrating his birthday at a business conference with his business friends or at his NYC home with his NYC friends or etc. etc. It's fantastic.

It reminds me of "The Tipping Point". Some people have few deep relationships, others have many shallow ones. If we think about these as two axes, the area defines how social a person is. My goal is to increase my total area by creating more shallow relationships; I have plenty and plenty of deep ones already. Good luck self.

On a completely different note, I decided I'm not following enough blogs (16). Send me links to good ones or just post them in the comments. Thanks all!